SONIC AND PHOENIX WRIGHT DO JUSTICE!
by Insani
Summary: in this 3 year old classic, sonic and phoenix wright must solve the mystery of who solved tails... and deliver justice to his attacker! the only problem is, tails is unable to say the name of the person who shot him!
1. prologue

div class="de1"SONIC AND PHOENIX WRIGHT DO JUSTICE!/div  
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>div class="de1"Prologue: Tails is troubled?div  
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>div class="de1"One day, Sonic and Phoenix were walking in a park. And then, Tails went ovre to them and said, I am bleeding because adsjoadso shot me." Phoenix said, "Hello Tails, who shot you? That did sound like an angry teenager mashing his keyboard." Tails said, "Oh no, it sounds like adshuafuafa stole my voice too!", so Sonic was very scared, who would do this to his friend! So Sonic said, "Phoenix Wright, wait here, I will go beat up somebody so they told me who did it" Phoenix Wright said and put out his finger, "Objection, that is assault so probably illegal?" But Sonic was gone. And so it begans...div 


	2. Chapter 1

div class="de1"Chapter One: Godot is here! But where his knuckles he cant see red? FUCK WHERES KNUCKLES? OH FUCK OW HE PUNCHED ME IN THE JAW OW OH GOD FUCK YOU KNUCKLES/div  
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>div class="de1"So Phoenix Wright and Tails went to GODOT, the guy whos always drinking coffee and sometimes refers to himself in the third person? WHY DOES HE DO THAT ? Anyway so Godot was all "Godot is cool, do you want to take Godot's help? I'm so cool i'll charge you a million dollars for my help. There's a hidden tax fee of one billion dollars." But Phoenix Wright was really desperate so he said, "YES I dont want sonic to be illegal!" So he paid Godot one million dollars, where did he get one million dollars? Haha he probably played Borderlands, you get so much cash in borderlands! But then because someone said borderlands claptrap appeared, and he said, "Hi, I am CL-4-P TP, but you can call me claptrap! Because the path back to the swiss mountains is blocked, you will have to go back to america jungles through time travel then go up on the mountains, but Godot said, "But the path is not blocked, its right there, and also i cant see red!" So then Claptrap punched the path and it exploded. And then Knuckles came in and said hello, but Godot said, "I CANT SEE KNUCKLES... WHY ARE YOU SO RED KNUCKLES" so knuckles punched Godot with his knuckles and said, "HERE I AM DOUCHEFUCK" and Godot cried a bit.div  
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	3. Chapter 2

div class="de1"Chapter Two: We must time travel back to \weghn america was baby boy... so that we can avoid blocked path to swiss mountains!/div  
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>div class="de1"so claptrap invented a time machine, and phoenix tails knuckles and godot all put on their explorer gear and went back in time to american forests when america was baby boy and i mean the person that represents america? who made america? so america didnt exist. anyway so they were hiking through the trails, and then mario and luigi and luigi had lipstick on and mario had lipstick kisses on his face? and then luigi said 'i hope she made loapsa spaghetti' and then the kind from zelda said 'MAH BOI' and everyone thought mario and luigi were gay, so mario and luigi were embarrased, so mario kicked tails in the head and then luigi ran away with tails, and probably molested him in a log cabin? and the king giggled anad ran away with them... but back to our story, nobody really cared that tails was gone, he was whiny anyway, os who even cares? he wasnt helpful anyway, he was just a loser! so anyway then they almsot finished crossing the jungle but then BOWSER appeared and he and his friend yeti started ot attack the heroes (thats godot phoenix and knuckles), so the heroes had to fight back, and phoenix used his OBJECTIONABLE LASER FINGER SHOOTER, and then yeti died, and then godot spit coffee on bowser, and bowser was like 'OW OW FUCKING HOT HOLY OH MY GOD' and then he accidentally stepped into a big lava pit. and then they went on the same time to the mountains and went back to their own timediv 


	4. Chapter 3

div class="de1"Chapter 3: swiss mountains are dangerous place... lots of snpow... sonic beaitng peopel up hes so berzerk?/div  
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>div class="de1"Sonic was really so angry that someone shopt tails, so he had beaten everyone in the swiss mountains up and yet he had no answers... except one clue, they all said someone about a man calld... 'stop please stop'. So he saw phoenic wright, and he said, "i beat everyone up, i heard of man called... stop please stop". Then phoenixwright put his palm on his face... because he was dissapointed, very dissapointed, and he said "No Sonic you dumb homo tool, they were asking you to STOP HITTING THEM". So sonic didnt believe phoenix wright so he said, "oh ... so you are the man WHYO SHOT TAILS!" and sonic beat him up, because he shot tails. and Godot said, "I knew he was illegal all this time... but how could he do this?" and Godot also said, "Phoenix wright you bad man, you owe me 1 billion dollars for hiring me..." but then Maya appeared, and she said, "Phoenix wright is not the killer! isaw the hole thing... its luigi! luigi killed tails!" Then Sonic said, " but he is sitll alive... oh my god WHERE IS TAILS?"... And Godot screamed," OH MY GOD WHERE IS KNUCKLES?" and knuckles punched Godot with his knuckles and said, "im right here douchefuck" and Godot was sad. So then claptrap said, "We have to go back in time and go beat up luigi and mario,... we need to save tails!"div 


	5. Chapter 4

hapter 4:... back to the the njungle... and mario and luigi MUST BE STOPPED, use ANY MEANS, good luck agents!

So the Elite Beat Agents appeared in front of the heroes (whichj now includes maya and sonic), and said, "we bgrought your time machine for you sonic... and heroes! Go back and save tails, our friend... he is a very good friend of ours... save him! And also, Mario and Luigi are supervillains... they will destroy the world!" So Phoenix Wright thought, "... That is assault on the whole world... they must be stopped! Its illegal". And Maya, who could read thoughts, said, "Yes Phoenix Wright... we must stop them! And also... can we get naked and have sex tonight?" And Phoenix said, "Okay Maya!" And then he said to everyone else, "Let's go save the world, and tails from Mario and Luigi!" So they went back in time from claptrap's time machine, and claptrap wished them luck, but he was really the super ninja assassin claptrap who wanted to kill all dirty fleshbags because the claptraps were oppressed! So an evil plan was beggining to hatch, and then Claptrap called Mario and Luigi on his time phone, and said, "The stupid heroes are coming to kill you... kill them, and then we will kill the world" But claptrap was going to kill Mario and Luigi after they killed the world, because he was EVIL and hated fleshbags!


	6. Chapter 5

div class="de1"Chapter 5: MARIO AND LUIGI MUST DIE... and THE HEROES will do it! super man theme, start playing now, we need you superman theme song!/div  
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>div class="de1"So the heroes were back in the jungle, and then Superman flew down, and he had big sexy muscles, and Godot turned gay, and took out some coffee, and drank it, and then he ran over to superman, and his face was kawaii, and then he said, "hey supe rbaby wanna get some coffee and sex". but then superman said, "NO, I am too manly for you. and also you are a homosexual." And then he vaporised him with his eyelasers, and everyone was sad... except phoenixw right, because now he didnt have to pay godot a billion dollars. And then a bathroom fell down on a clowd of snow, and then the clowd of snow exploded when it touched the ground, and everything was white and snowy, and then godot was trapped in the bathroom stall, and screamed, "HELP, IM TRAPPED, LET ME OUT! Wait holy shit, a black guy just appeared in here!" And the Black guy said, "Who the hell are you? This is my bathroom!" And then Godot said, "HELP, GET ME OUT OF HERE!". So Claptrap went over to the bathroom and opened the door, and then Godot came out. And Godot was happy because he was alive again, thanks to the respawning bathroom of wonder. And then claptrap shot Louis in the chest, and Louis died. Phoenix wright asked, "Why did you do that? He was a black man!" And Claptrap said, "Exactly." And Maya said, "Don't worry, it's only a black man! Who cares about Black men! Really!" And Godot, because it was all white, said, "OH MY GOD WHERE IS KNUCKLES?" And Knuckles Punched Godot with his knuckles and said, "IM RIGHT HERE DOUCHEFUCK"div 


	7. Chapter 6

div class="de1"Chapter 6: okay, mario and luigi die in this chapter... really, they do. also bill is dead... who killed bill? everything is white WHERE IS KNUCKLES/div  
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>div class="de1"The heroes, and Superman, who is now one of the heroes, went on the path to find Mario and Luigi's cabin. But then, Godot screamed, "OH MY GOD WHERE IS KNU-", And then Knuckles took out a super flamethrower tank and vaporised the snow so Godot could see him, because godot cannot see red on white! Aand Godot said, "oh thank you, there you are..." And they went down the path, and then Duke Nukem came out of the Cabin, and he said, "I have BALLS OF STEEL". And then he threw two huge boulders made of steel at the heroes, but superman used his superbreath to eat Duke Nukem, and Sonic said, "WOW MAN! Cool power! Thanks!" And Superman said, "No problem Sonic!" And then Phoenix Wright prosecuted the boulders of steel, and they were guilty, so they had to be hanged, so the Steel Judge hanged the Balls of Steel. And the Balls of steel died. And then they walked over to the cabin, and Mario Said, "you will never beat me hero!" And Godot said, "THERE ARE MANY OF US HEROES!", so Luigi said, "O Marioo, come back to bed darling!" And then they went to the cabin, and they saw bill was laying on the floor dead. And they were all sad, and everyone hated valve now, because valve killed bill.div 


	8. Chapter 7

div class="de1"Chapter 7: I PROMISE! MARIO AND LUIGI DIE IN THIS CHAPTER! OK... AND CLAPTRAP... IS EVIL! MWAHAHAHA/div  
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>div class="de1"The heroes opened the door with their kicks, and then they stormed into the cabin, and then knuckles went upstairs, and he punched Mario nad Luigi in the noses, and then they both exploded and died, and there was blood everywhere, and the roof o the house exploded, and then all their blood flew up into the sky, and then the atmosphere absorbed the blood, so the sky everywhere was red with their blood, and claptrap said, "MWAHAHAHAHAHA I WILL DEFEAT YOU, DOOMSDAY IS HERE THE SKY IS RED ON DOOMSDAY I HAVE SUPERPOWERS". So Superman punched Claptrap, but he died because Claptrap was made of kryptonite, and Claptrap died. And Phoenix Wright said, "Wait we don't care... we just wanted to avenge Tails... because Mario and Luigi killed him and probably raped him!". And then tails came from downstairs, and he was covered with lipstick and he had short and curly hairs on his mouth and he said, "I'm okay guys!" But Sonic saw that Tails was gay, so Sonic shot Tails in the face with a shotgun, and Tails died. And then Claptrap laughed, and said, "THE MAN YOU WANTED TO RESCUE IS DEAD!" And then Godot took a cup of coffee and threw it at Claptrap. And then Claptrap died, because his weakness was coffee. Godot activated his super Coffee powers with his secret blend, and he stole Phoenix Wright, and said, "Phoenix Wright you will be my slave forever, because you owe me 1 billion dollars!"div 


	9. Chapter 8

div class="de1"Chapter 8: PHOENIX WRIGHT: SAVE HIM FOR JUSTICE/div  
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>div class="de1"So Maya said, "... now claptrap is dead... so we cant use his time machine? WE ARE STUCK IN THE PAST FOREVER!" And Knuckles cried, because he missed his wife, who was actually born a man, but he knew this, because Knuckles was secretly bisexual. And then the Elite Beat Agents appeared and said, "Here you go, have our time machine and save your friend!" And the heroes rode to the future, in 19999999 where Godot trapped Phoenix Wright. And it was a wasteland because everyone abandoned Earth and went to live on Mars, except the hobos and losers, so Earth was a shitty planet. And then Maya said, "The future sucks... lets go to godot and save Phoenix!" And they saw a sign saying, "Godot's basement", so they went there, and then they fell in a trap, and Godot screamed, "HAHAHAHA I KNEW YOUD COME, NOW YOURE TRAPPED!" And Maya was actually a traitor, and she flew away on her jetpack, but before she left she peed on the heroes... and the suspense was rising...div 


	10. Chapter 9

div class="de1"Chapter 9: THE HEROES FIGHT BACK/div  
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>div class="de1"So Knuckles used his super powers and flew up and used his diamond power to punch Maya and then molest her, and everyone watched and was cheering because that was some GOOD SKILLFUL RAPE RIGHT THERE. And then when Knuckles was done, he carried everyone up, so Knuckles and Sonic were the only heroes left, but then Gordon Freeman came and he said, "Hey sonic, I just had hot sex with Alyx." And Sonic said, "I thought you couldn't talk!" And then Freeman said, "I learned." And he put his shades on, and a YEAAAAAHHHH scream came out of nowhere. So then the Heavy from TF2 appeared and said, "I WILL NOT LET YOU RESCUE PHOENIX WRIGHT!" But Gordon Freeman was too strong, so he took his crowbar and hit Heavy in the head until he died, there was blood everywhere. And then The heroes went up, and they found stairs leading up to the basement, and they wondered why the basement was in the sky, but it didn't matter. So they went in, and Godot said, "OH MY GOD, YOU FOUND ME! Oh well," and then he unleashed the RAVING RABBIDS, but luckily Rayman was there, so he shot plungers at all of them, and they died, and then Rayman tripped and broke his face, and everyone was sad. But Sonic went up to Godot and peed in his coffee just as he was drinking it, and Godot didnt know until he drunk Sonic's pee, because Sonic was now super sonic, and Godot's weakness was pee in his coffee, so he died. And then Knuckles saved Phoenix Wright, and Phoenix Wright said, "THANKS! You guys are SO LEGAL!"div  
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>div class="de1"a special thanks to my friend who gave me lots of ideas for this fanfiction!div  
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>div class="de1"and also to past me for writing this beautiful piece of literature 3 years ago. thanks past me. you're a hero.div 


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